To My Fellow Motorists

Dear sir in the green Mercedes: You may be important, you may be esteemed, you may be rich. It is still a stop sign.

Dear woman making a three-point turn: The point at which your car is perpendicular to the flow of traffic and blocking two lanes is not the point at which to check your cell phone or fiddle with the radio. Thank you.

Dear befuddled driver of the elderly CRX with the "I'd rather be reading Bukowski" bumper sticker: Your strange u-turn and hesitant driving suggests that you have been reading too much Bukowski, and not enough of the under-appreciated genius, Maps.

Dear van driver with "WWJD" fish thing: You are in a left-turn lane. You don't need to think about it when you have the left arrow. JESUS WOULD TURN. I'm sure of it.